Nashville Three
by Freyalinn
Summary: Missing scenes and extended scenes from every episode from season 3.
1. Chapter 1

**The words in bold is lines and dialogue from the show,** the words in normal is all mine.

Episode 1

 _Rayna thinks when she sits at her vanity mirror and try on Deacon´s ring._

It was so tempted to just choose Deacon, to choose perhaps in some way the familiar path, she knows what she gets and knows how satisfied they both would be. Love and be loved by Deacon is what she has done all her life. That´s not their problem, it´s making it last. For him fighting his addictions, for her pushing away the fear and start trusting him again. She has been up all night thinking of it all, over and over.

Even if she still loves Deacon and probably always will, she decided to marry Luke. She did really love Luke. Again she found herself loving two men. Differently kind of love though, but similar to when she married Teddy, while she never stopped loving Deacon. She did force the love for Teddy the first year, but the way he took care of her and Maddie, turned her feelings to real love. Teddy was and did everything he promised before they got married, he lived up to all of it. Her feelings for Deacon never went away, she just suppressed them as hard as she could.

And Luke, well, if Teddy was the opposite of Deacon, Luke is basically Deacon with control of his drinking. Both sexy as hell, love music and play guitar. What is wrong with her? Why can´t she just love one man at the time? Yet again, she is in love with two men. Her heart wants both, her mind tells her who to choose, her body wants the other one.

Being with Luke has turned out to be more public than she like and marrying him will only increase it, but it should die out eventually, wouldn´t it? She know he like the publicity it gets him, but he would tune it down for her, as he knows she isn´t a fan of it, wouldn´t he? She has always kept her private life private and she intends to keep doing that, even if she is marrying megastar Luke Wheeler. The press and media have to stick to music and their careers, not what they wear to bed, what they do on a lazy Sunday afternoon or who is the best cook of them.

Somehow she better find a way to suppress her feelings for Deacon, a better way than she did while married to Teddy, if she wants her marriage to Luke succeed.

* * *

Episode 2

 _Deacon and Maddie talks after they yelled at each other when Deacon was trying to assemble that dresser._

 **"I´m sorry, sweetie. I´m so sorry. Listen to me. I shouldn´t have told you that I asked your mom to marry me.** But I wanted you to know I tried, I tried to do something. That I was fighting for her."

 **Maddie sniffles. "How could she not have chosen you?"**

 **"I don´t know, sweetie. She had her reasons. We got to respect that.** You can´t be mad at your mom. She is only doing what she thinks is the best for her and for you girls. **On the plus side, I can´t imagine that Luke is gonna ask me out on his tour now, so... We´ll get some time together to figure it all out."**

 **Maddie sniffles again and Deacon takes her in his arms in a hug. "I wanted it to be you so badly.** I wanted us to be a family."

 **"Me too, sweetie. Me too.** I love your mama so much. And you and Daphne. That is my wish, us four together, like a family. I have always thought of you guys as my family long before I know you were my daughter. Everything will be all right."

* * *

Episode 3

 _Deacon and Luke are arguing._

 **"Pretty sure the stage is that way."**

 **"You mean for my 15-minute set? I don´t get it, man. You force me to be on this tour, then you don´t even let me play my songs? What´s your problem?"**

 **"I think it´s pretty obvious it´s you. I popped you one so you´d shut your mouth, not keep opening it."**

 **"You petty son of a bitch. Look, what I say to my daughter, that´s between her and me, all right? I told her the damn truth, and I´m not ashamed of it."**

"Stop poisoning Maddie against me. It will just be harder for her when Rayna and I are married."

"I haven´t done such a thing. She doesn´t like the idea that you are maybe gonna marry her mother."

"What do you mean maybe? It will happen, there is no maybe. She turned down your little proposal, remember? That was a low blow, by the way, proposing on the same day I did. Trying to confuse her, but it didn´t work now, did it? Thank God for that."

"Well, you are not married yet, are you? And me telling Rayna that I love her is just the truth, it´s always been the truth. Her first marriage didn´t stop that and even if you get married, it will not stop being true either. Rayna and I will always be close, our lives will always be intertwined because of Maddie. We have a daughter together, you can´t change that."

"We will see about that."

"If you think that you can do something about it, make her choose between you and her daughters somehow, you don´t know her that well then I say. Same as teddy did, assume things. I will be there for Ray when you screw up. I love her, nothing will change that."

Deacon turned around and left for the stage without another word.

* * *

Episode 4

 _Rayna´s sales pitch to Sadie Stone._

 **"Are you actually signing with Edgehill?"**

 **"Yeah. Rayna, I love how much you want to sign me, but... I don´t want to be just another one of Rayna Jaymes´ artists. I want to be Rayna Jaymes. And Edgehill can do that for me, the way they did it for you."**

 **"Well, let´s get one thing straight. Edgehill didn´t make me, I made Edgehill. And I also left Edgehill. You want to know why?" Sadie nods her head. "Because Edgehill isn´t the label that it was when I was coming up. Hell, the music business isn´t the same as it was when I was coming up. Back then, you could listen to the radio all day long and hear so many female artists. We had Martina, we had Shania, we had Faith, Jo Dee, Pam, amazing artists. Now you know how many solo female artists there are in the top 40? Two. You know as well as I do, it´s just all big-hat cowboys, and Edgehill is all big-hats cowboys. That´s all Jeff Fordham has signed."**

 **"Okay, well if that´s all true, then why does he want to sign me?"**

 **"Because you´re new and shiny, and you´re a trophy for him to present to his board. I promise you, after that, he will not support you.** Jeff is all about numbers and sells, he doesn´t care about you personally, how you want to go with your music. First time I met with him was after my accident, he had taken over as label head from Marshall Evans, who also was new on the job just two years ago. Edgehill isn´t putting their country branch on top priority, with two new label heads in three years, and none of them has a background in music. As I said, first time I met Jeff was after the accident and he was so happy to see me, work with me, etc. He was all for my label and I thought he wasn´t that bad. But that changed pretty fast when he had the nerve and wanted me to put out a greatest hits album, to reap on the attention I got from not got killed in the accident. Seize the opportunity. He even had the cover of the album drawn up by himself."

"Wow, that´s eager of him."

"Yeah, right. A greatest hits album is what you put out when you are done in my world. And I´m not done yet. I had an album that was almost done and I just needed time to finish that, but he didn´t want to wait. It had to be there and then. So from working with me, he went to work against me on every step I took, just because I didn´t do as he wanted. He doesn´t like it when people say no to him, I imagine he is used to people doing as he says, or he is bullying them into it. That will not work on me."

"But he seemed so genuine when he spoke to me, all those things he promised me, where he wanted my music to go."

"I´m sure he meant it as long as you do what he says and wants, but if you start question him, he will turn on you faster then you think. All that I just said, it was on our second meeting. Our first meeting lasted maybe 45 minutes and the second, maybe 15 minutes, so just after 1 hour total of us talking he turned off the charm."

"Now it doesn´t feel so great anymore to sign with Edgehill, working with Jeff sounds kind of awful now. But he said he could make me like you."

 **"Hey listen, you don´t want to be Rayna Jaymes. You want to be the one and only Sadie Stone, and I believe that I can help you with that. Your fight is my fight. I want you on the radio ´cos that means there´s a place for me on the radio. That means there´s a place for Juliette Barnes on the radio. That means there´s a place for all these women in this town who are just trying to catch a break. Choose Highway 65. Choose me."**

"It does sound more and more tempting, I give you that. Even if Jeff hasn´t done anything to me yet, he sure has done enough against you and it would feel nice to give one to him for treating you like that."

"I will always let my artists have control of their own music. A say in what songs and how the albums will sound. You are so talented, girl. You will go far and I really want to be the one to accompany you on the road there. I want to make this journey with you. We will do great together, I can feel it. Choose me."

* * *

Episode 5

 _Rayna and Daphne talks after her little outbreak._

 **"Sorry I was a brat before. Is that what you want to hear?"**

 **"It´s not what I want to hear. Is that what you feel? Thos whole craziness with the schedule and being apart, it´s been hard on me. You think maybe it has been for you too?"**

Daphne nods her head. "I have missed you, Mom. You have been away on tours all my life and now when I´m older it should be easier, but I really missed you. It was different before when we still was a family, everything has changed now. Dad has been more busy now when he is mayor, he isn´t home as much as he was before."

 **"I know y´all coming here for one day kind of feels like a tease, but... I just wanted to get a chance to see your face. ´Cause my favourite time is when I get to be with you."**

 **"Me too."**

 **"So I´m gonna take advantage of every single second that we get together today. ´Cause no matter how much time we have apart, I don´t love you any less ever."**

 **"Okay.** I love you Mom. I wish we could stay longer then just today. We should come out longer, like we did when we were younger."

"I would like that too, but that´s different now also. It was easier to get permission from school to let you miss a couple of days, but now when you are older they think you will miss too much, that it will interfere with your education. **What do you say after we´re done with this commercial thing, we go do something fun, like a normal family?"**

 **"It´s a deal."**


	2. Chapter 2

Episode 6

 _Daphne thinks while she is looking at the madness going on at her house._

Oh my God, what are they doing? They are destroying our house. Who are all these people? Maddie, what were you thinking? Mom and dad will be so angry. Daphne is thinking to herself while she watches all these strangers, mostly boys walking around. She didn´t see Maddie anywhere or Colt, or those two friends of Colt´s she did meet by the burger joint. Daphne had already checked Maddie´s room, she wasn´t there and now had searched the living room and kitchen.

"Have you seen Maddie?" She asked the next boy that walked past her.

"Who?" The boy answered and continued to the kitchen.

What is she going to do? Daphne took up her phone and called her dad. The phone was ringing and ringing. Cone on Dad. Pick up. Where are you? She let it ring until it got to voicemail. 'Please Dad, I need you to come home.' With a heavy sigh she ended the call. She was starting to get really scared now when she heard another crushing sound from the kitchen. She took up her phone and dialed again.

"911. What is your emergency?"

"My sister invited some people over and it came more than those it was intended to and now it´s out of control. They are breaking things in our house. I can´t reach my parents. I don´t know what to do. I´m so scared."

* * *

Episode 7

 _Rayna on her decision to break her rules of private life._

How will she make him not write about what he saw? Maybe he wouldn´t write about it, maybe for once she could get some luck. But if he does, what could she offer instead? She knows the answer, she just don´t even want to think about it, Deacon Claybourne, she could give him the story of her and Deacon. But that would be betraying both Deacon and herself, their life together. She has always been a private person, keeping her private life private. She have if she could, always avoided questions like that, distract the one asking the questions or plainly said 'I don´t answer that.'

So the story of her and Deacon has never been told before. But was it enough for him, enough of a trade. She wondered sometimes what the interest in her and Deacon was. They were just two musicians falling in love, writing music and performing it. And they weren´t particularly shy at showing they loved each other. They kissed on stage, off stage, at their bus, in front of the bus, in the dressing rooms Rayna used. She is pretty sure several people had seen them, both go in and come out from numerous of supply rooms and broom closets with their clothes not in order. At the times when they couldn´t wait to get back to the bus or their motel room. And the drinking wasn´t really a secret either. Everyone around them know so anyone could tell that story.

Them telling a magazine how much they loved each other, who would be interested in that back then? And now, when it´s been over 20 years, why would anyone care they loved each other once. Why would anyone want to read that? But that was what she had to offer and she now really hoped it was enough and that Deacon would understand why she had to do what she was about to do. To protect Maddie. She desperately hoped Deacon would understand why, because she didn´t want to destroy their friendship, hurt him again. They are in a strange place again after she turned down Deacon and chose Luke. Understandable, but she doesn´t want to hurt him anymore because, even if she did chose Luke, it doesn´t mean she doesn´t love Deacon. She do and have come to realize she never will stop loving him. That is the truth.

* * *

Episode 8

 _Rayna and Luke argue in the men´s room at the CMA._

 **"Hey. I need to talk to you."**

 **"I´m pretty sure this is the men´s room."**

 **"What is going on? I don´t even know what we´re fighting about. Is it the prenup thing? Are you mad because I´m winning?"**

 **Luke scoffs. "You know damn well what this is about, Rayna."**

 **"I don´t know what it´s about. You´re stomping around. You´re drinking. You´re not talking to me."**

 **"Well, maybe you´re the one who needs to do the talking. You didn´t forget to thank Deacon, did you? What, you´ve been sitting here, the whole time. wishing you were with him? You´re here with me!"**

 **"Of course I´m here with you.** Is this what it´s all about? You are mad that I thanked Deacon? You are mad because I thanked the man that I co-write the song I won the award with? That´s crazy."

"Is it? Do you still have feelings for him? Is that it?"

"What are you saying? I chose you, remember? I did tell you that he kissed me and proposed so it wouldn´t be a secret and come between us. Are you jealous of Deacon? Are you?"

"It´s hard not to be. He is always around. Everywhere I turn I either see him or someone is mention his name."

"Great, it´s like with Teddy all over. His insecurity with me and Deacon. You have to put that behind you. I can´t have another marriage like that. And besides you didn´t release Deacon of his contract, you know. If you had done that, you wouldn´t have to see him every day."

"I´m not like Teddy. I will not share you with Deacon!"

"Oh my God! Are you hearing yourself? You are drunk! I never cheated on Teddy. You better get your drinking controlled or I will not marry you. Already been down that road, don´t need another alcoholic in my life. Deacon will always be around, he is the father to Maddie and so are Teddy. You have to deal with both of them."

"That´s not the only thing."

"What? What´s not the only thing?"

"Your winning tonight, it´s all because of me. You think you are earning it because you did the Rolling Stone story, the Dancing With The Stars appearance, it´s not."

"I beg your pardon! Am I really hearing these things?"

 **"You know what, that isn´t very gracious, considering the only reason your album went gold is ´cos I proposed to you on the day you released it. You said you´d never take what was mine? Well, you just did."**

"How dare you say that I haven´t earned my success on my own! That you of all people think you can take the credit for it. If anyone else could take credit, it would be Deacon, because we did it together, my success was his too."

Without another word Rayna stormed out.

* * *

Episode 9

 _Rayna and Deacon are talking about the Rolling Stone story._

 **"Just please, let me explain."**

 **"Explain? You´re gonna explain, what, how you took 20 years of our history, and you just hung it out for the world to see? You can explain that?"**

 **"The reporter was going to divulge inappropriate information about Maddie, okay?"**

 **"What are you talking about?"**

 **"He walked in on Maddie and Luke´s son kissing."**

 **"Luke´s..."**

 **"I had to protect them.** I couldn´t let him write about Maddie kissing her soon to be stepbrother or bonus brother or whatever it´s called. Let his fantasy run wild at what kind of family we would become and have the rest of the world make incest jokes and other worse obscene things."

"If you hadn´t agreed to do that article, that reporter wouldn´t seen what he saw, now would he?"

"I know it´s my fault, Deacon. You don´t need to lecture me about it, I have been kicking myself already. I wish they never approached me with the offer. But now it did and I had to protect Maddie, protect our daughter."

 **"Okay, fine. You protected her. What does that have to do with all the stuff you said about me?"**

 **"I had to say something. I had to give him something. I had to make a trade."**

 **"So, you gave him us. You gave him what we had, what was private, what you had insisted for years was private. You just sold it to a magazine."**

 **"It was the last thing I wanted to do.** I had no choice, Deacon. Believe me. If I did, I wouldn´t give them us. I´m so sorry, Deacon."

 **"But you did it. And I don´t get it. And I don´t know how you´re living your life this way."**

* * *

Episode 10

 _Rayna is thinking when the girls singing at them at the wedding rehearsal dinner._

This is the best part of the entire evening. Hearing her girls sing do wonders to her nerves. These past days with the reporter following her, causing her problems with Luke as she promised they had the weekend to themselves, not work. Interfering with the cake testing time, with their family time at home and the worst part, she had to tell the world about her and Deacon. Breaking her rule and this time be the one disappoints Deacon and hurt him.

Those angels of her, they are really so talented. Looking so beautiful up there, so grown up. Oh boy, how fast do they grow up. Even Maddie looking happy singing, she isn´t too happy about her marrying Luke. What was it Maddie said before they started singing, something about she wrote it with her dad. She wonders if Deacon knew when he helped Maddie with the song, it was to be sung to her and Luke at their wedding rehearsal dinner.

She is so tired of all of this, the press, the media, the attention. She doesn´t want to live her life like this. Luke has been doing it for years. He has for christ´s sake his face on a damn BBQ sauce. This rehearsal dinner is another thing that is just crazy. Red carpet parade and photo shoots at a dinner, who has that? All these people, who are they? A wedding should be family and friends, people you know and love or at least like. There´s always an uncle or a cousin you don´t know, but still they are family. But a whole room filled with people and you know what, twenty of them. That´s not her at all.

How could I get myself talked into this? Is this what it´s going to be now, if I marry Luke? Then I´m not sure I want to anymore, Rayna thinks to herself.

 **...**

 _Rayna and Tandy are talking over a glass of wine later in the evening._

 **"Those girls are wired."**

 **"They miss their Aunt Tandy."**

 **"I miss them. I did think I was gonna miss you, but you´re everywhere, cover of Rolling Stone, CMAs, Dancing With The Stars. You´re gonna be on that Christmas special."**

 **"Oh please."**

 **"What? You hit the stratosphere."**

 **"I don´t recognise my life anymore."**

 **"Yeah. Well, you know, it´s a lot of changes. You wanted to build up your company and you did it."**

 **"I don´t know how much of this really has to do with my company. Or maybe it does. I don´t know anymore what´s me or what´s Luke or what´s Layna or Ruke or whatever the hell. All the press and the... This runaway tour and... But the worst part is, I just feel so completely out of touch with my girls."**

 **"Sweetie, what´s going on?"**

 **"I just want to make sure it´s my life I´m living.** Since our engagement it´s been crazy. Luke has a different view on media and the press than I do. For him this is normal, for me it´s looking more and more like a nightmare, a never ending nightmare. I assume it will only increase once we are married, no matter how much I do hope we will have a normal life."

 **"This is night-before-the-wedding jitters. Just focus on the love. The way that he looks at you, the way he talks to you. You love him. That´s enough."**

"Is it? If love was the answer, Deacon and I would never breake up. We would been married long time ago if love is enough. Loving each other was certainly not our problem."

"Rayna! You can´t be thinking of Deacon on the night before your wedding. You have to put him aside. Focus on Luke, on how he loves you and you love him. I know you care about Deacon and he is Maddie´s father, but you can´t be thinking about him. Don´t let him interfere with the new life you are gonna start with Luke, don´t let your feelings for Deacon ruin another marriage."

"It´s not just Deacon, it´s everything. Luke, the girls, the press, everything that has been happening since our engagement. So much has happened since when I first met Luke this time around, when we were dating, when we just spend an evening together, just us. That man I would marry, but he isn´t like that always. He has said and done things I have harder and harder time to accept his excuses and apologizes."

"What? What has he been saying?"

"Well, once he said I didn´t have to work, that I could be at home. He talked to the girls about boarding school behind my back. The digs he does to Deacon. And the most recent thing, we had a big fight at the CMA, about me winning and not him. He said my album only sold gold because he proposed to me on the same day as it was released. If it´s one thing I´m proud of is my career and my music. I have worked so hard to get where I´m now and that Luke even thinks he is responsible and he is taking credit for it makes me furious."

"That was pretty stupid things to say, I agree, but he did apologize?"

"He did."

"Then he is sorry, that he didn´t really mean it. You know how some men are, their need to feel strong and powerful. We were raised by one."

"Oh yes, the master himself. And I don´t want to be married to someone like our daddy, though Luke isn´t in his league, but still."

"It´s just wedding jitters, isn´t it?"

"I don´t know Tandy. I have second thoughts about the clean slate I thought I could have with Luke is worth all of this, worth sacrificing my principles and compromising on things I really don´t want to."

"So what are you gonna do? Cancel the wedding?"

"I don´t know Tandy. I really don´t know."

 **...**

 _Rayna is thinking looking at her dress and ring._

Rayna looked at her wedding dress, grabbed the lower half and lifted it up. It´s a beautiful dress. Could she do this? Is a clean slate with Luke with all these recent events better then a chance with the man she loves, and truly loves her. A man that doesn´t play any games, don´t need to prove he is bigger than her, or more important than her. She had the chance to that and she didn´t choose Deacon. Why not, because she was afraid she couldn´t handle if he fall off the wagon one more time? Because she loved him too much to stand by and watch that again. And now maybe she lost the window of opportunity, but maybe it would still be better to not marry Luke.

Rayna let go of the dress and picked up the ring. So much has happened since the first time she saw that ring. She has mixed feelings on that day Luke proposed to her, the way he proposed in front of 70.000 people at her concert. At first she was delighted and pleasently surprised that he would do that, but later she thought why the hell did he do that at her concert. To him it was an extravagancy romantic big gesture and to her it was a private moment ruined as it was now shared with the public. That was their different kind of views on the same thing. That will always get between them.

Could she end this? Could she tell him no, that she didn´t want to marry him anymore? There wasn´t much tile left. She is suppose to marry him tomorrow. Calling him isn´t an option, it has to be face to face and she can´t go now. Turning him down at the altar is a bit cruel, but if she goes over early in the morning. It´s still gonna hurt, but it´s better that way than getting a divorce down the road. There´s no easy way out of this, but still better to talk to him alone in the morning, then at the reception with all the guests around them.

Rayna went to the couch and sat down. She took up the Rolling Stone magazine and read the article one more time. When Tandy said that she should think about how he looks at you, how he talks to you. It was Deacon she thought about then, not Luke. Deacon had always looked at her in a special way. Deacon could turn her on just by looking at her with his intense gaze and that no other man done has to her, only Deacon.

 **...**

 _Rayna is thinking when she drives away from Luke´s ranch._

The further away she gets the more relief she feels. For every mile that passes, the tears dry up and her smile are getting bigger. Relief is lifting the dark cloud that had been shadowing her life these past weeks. The headache from yesterday, from all the fake smiles and pretending everything is fine and how happy she is, is beginning to go away.

It was hard to say she couldn´t marry him. At first he got very sad, but that shifted to anger pretty fast. She did love him, but not so much that she could give up her way a family should be, to live a life in public and not a love like a bride to be should feel about the man she was suppose to marry. Her girls talking about boarding schools, jet plans and other things that are so far from their normal lifestyle. It was hard to tell Luke, that she changed her mind and cancel the wedding, but it had to be done.

It was better this way than they would have to get a divorce when the love they do have for each other would fade away. It would fade away after so many fights and arguments she knew would come because she would not compromise on this, private life should be knew that being the two they are and combine two families into one would involve a lot of compromises, but she also know that she is stubborn and would not do certain things, not accept or adjust to certain things.

Honestly and quite selfish she wants it to be like it is now, her rules and her lifestyle and she knows one man who would do that. He would fit into her life and she into his without any glitch. Deacon and her have the same values, if that hasn´t changed. And Deacon isn´t a changing man. He has been the same since she had known him, same style of clothes, same style of guitars and same style of trucks.

The little she saw of the cabin the two times she been there after they broke up, she thought it looked the same. So no, Deacon doesn´t change things that easily and hopefully his feelings for her haven´t changed either. She really hoped it hadn´t as the last time she saw him, he said he loved her. But he could be mad that she chose Luke over him, if she just directly would go to him now after cancelling the wedding.

Yeah, better she wait a while before going to Deacon and expresses her feelings for him and try to come up with a way to explain why she put both of them through this past year being engaged to Luke. To explain to both Deacon and herself why she did that, considering she still loved Deacon. Why she thought she could be happy with Luke, although to her defense, their different lifestyles didn´t clash when they were just dating. His attitude towards her career and the way he handled her winning more awards than he didn´t show when they were dating.

They didn´t even properly discussed where they were gonna live. So did Luke assume she and the girls would move to his ranch, because it was bigger? He probably did, because she didn´t think he would settle for her house permanently. So it was better to end it before, then an ugly and very public divorce. By the way he acted now, it would certainly be very ugly. And that was something she could live without.


	3. Chapter 3

Episode 11

 _Deacon is thinking after Luke busted into his house and they got into a fight._

Once inside Scarlett let go of him and he stood still, leaning one hand on the door frame. She called off the wedding. Rayna wasn´t going to marry Luke Wheeler anymore. Stood him up almost at the altar, none the less in the morning of their wedding day. That had to hurt his pride, Deacon thought amused to himself. Right at him, the bastard.

If Luke hadn´t changed while courting Rayna, and how Deacon know him back then and the way he acted at the CMAs, it was only what he deserved. You don´t treat any woman like that, especially Rayna. What was Luke thinking? Taking credit for her success, thinking it was his doing?

He hoped she really told Luke what she thought about what he said about her winning at the CMA. He could tell she wasn´t pleased at all. He could read her face and body language every time and so far he hasn´t been wrong. He wondered why Luke did that? What did he hope to gain? To prove he was the man and she just a woman, or what? And Teddy cheated on her. While he did things to Rayna too, but never bad talking her or cheated on her. Never treated her as she didn´t feel she wasn´t the most beautiful and most gorgeous woman in the world. But that was their loss and maybe his fortune.

Not that it meant Rayna would come to him, but his chances definitely increased. Maybe she did love him more than Luke, despite what she said the last time he saw her. Even if they didn´t get back together, Rayna not marrying Luke was still the best news he got in a long time, especially after his own very bad news.

 **...**

 _Deacon is thinking after Rayna left his house._

She came. She came and she told me that she loves me, just as she did before, Deacon thought to himself. He knew it. She couldn´t love Luke more than she did him. This is the second time Rayna came and told him that she loved him. He believed like he always have done, that Rayna always would love him. They would always love each other one way or another.

Rayna asked for some time to deal with everything before they eventually could get back together, at least it´s what he hoped she wanted, what she was saying. But on the other and, maybe it wasn´t that good idea to get back together, considering his own bad news, that he didn´t tell her now. He almost did, but a few things made him not say anything yet. First the look in her eyes when she declared her love and he didn´t want those eyes to be shadow by sadness. And second, how would he tell her, he couldn´t just blurted it out?

And frankly now that he had a few minutes more to think about it, he isn´t that sure he would want people to know, especially Rayna and the girls. Because if they would get back together and he didn´t get a donor in time, Rayna would have to take care of him and that she already have done for the most part of their relationship. He wants to be the one to take care of Rayna, be the man she deserves and wants, not let her watch him die up close.

* * *

Episode 12

 _Deacon is talking at the AA-meeting about his cancer._

 **"I know I can fight this cancer. But I don´t know if I can beat it. See. the thing is, if I lose... There was a time that it wouldn´t have mattered that much. But it does now, I got a daughter. And I got a niece. And I got... I got a lot of people I care about. And they care about me."**

"I haven´t told the people near me yet, that I´m sick, that I have cancer. I don´t want them to feel sorry for me. I don´t know how I will tell them, what will I say? I know it will come out sooner or later, but for now I want it to be a secret. **And when I think about not being there for them..." Deacon exhales. "You talk about feeling powerless? This is a powerlessness at a level that damn near overwhelms me. Truth is I´m terrified."**

"All I can do is waiting for a donor on a damn list. While I do know all about waiting, this kind is new, feeling total helpless is scary as hell. I would be damn lucky if something that good is ever gonna happen to someone like me. People use to say that my drinking would kill me some day and now they might be right. The irony of that is if that´s happening, I have been sober the same amount of years as I have been drinking."

"Another irony is that shortly after I found out that I was sick, an opportunity that I have been hoping for happened. The woman I love shared her own feelings for me and expressed that she wanted to be with me. That´s all I want, to be with her, love her, take care of her. And now if I tell her that I´m sick, she will have to take care of me and eventually watch me die and I don´t know if I can do that, watch her watching me."

Episode 13

 _Deacon and Scarlett are talking in the kitchen._

 **"Don´t be drinking that on account of me,"**

 **"I´m not. I´m drinking it for me. I´m sorry for being such a dark cloud all week, okay?"**

 **"Sorry for not letting you be what you needed to be."**

 **"Right back at you. Thinking about what that doctor was saying... There´s no sense in dealing in absolutes. But there is one thing that I am absolute about. You. You loving me, supporting me. For your positivity too, I mean it. I do, cause you´re right. Anything can happen, I mean, hell, I´m drinking bee pollen."**

Deacon takes a couple of gulps and makes a disgusting grimace. Deacon growls.

 **"I swear it´s good for you. It just tastes like crap."**

"It sure does, believe me. This must be one of the worst thing I ever tasted. But thank you for taking care of me, Scarlett. Looking up all those things and get them for me."

"You don´t have to thank me, Deacon. You are my uncle and I love you, so naturally I want you to live as long as you possibly can and I will do everything in my power to make that happen. I just wish I was a match and it would be a done deal and already over with."

"I know you would Scarlett, I was first against it and I would fight you if you were a match, you shouldn´t risk your life for me, but now I kinda wish you were a match. I love you for doing all of this in a heartbeat."

"I wish I could do more."

"I want to apologize for yelling at you before, I´m sorry Scarlett. I will try to stay more positive, I can´t promise I will succeed though. But I still think writing that will, sorting my stuff out is good, because let´s not fool ourselves. It´s a big risk I might die."

"I know, but we got to have hope. What made you change your mood?"

"You, Maddie. When Maddie was here she told me she missed me, missed our guitar lessons which by the way she don´t need, she is so good. Maddie told me I missed her singing at the Bluebird with Rayna and Daphne. I should have been there to see that, not hiding at home, avoiding seeing her. I missed so much of her life, missed so many milestones already, but it always comes new ones. And I can be there for them, I want to experience that, so if the worst happens, at least I have been there for her on a few ones."

"And you will be there for all those moments to come, because you are not gonna die."

"We don´t know that, Scarlett. The odds are not in my favour, if I don´t get a donor, I´m screwed. There is no other cure, only a race against time."

"I know we will find a donor in time, I just know it. Remember you said you would be more positive."

"Yes, yes, I will. Part of my mood is I have to tell Rayna soon and I was hoping I would have some good news to go with the bad news. She will not take this well, both the cancer and the fact I didn´t tell her right away. She said once that my drinking would kill me one day, seems she maybe will be right. I didn´t think it would or could happen 15 years after I stopped drinking though."

* * *

Episode 14

 _Rayna and Bucky celebrate in her office._

 **"Good morning."**

"Good morning, Ray. You brought champagne?"

"Yes, I thought we could celebrate two things."

 **"Is this ´cause Jeff Fordham got fired?"**

 **"Yes!"** Both laugh. **"No, I mean, not really, but Jeff Fordham did get me thinking about how important good executives are to a label, which got me thinking about you. You´ve just been with me from the beginning. You´ve helped me build Highway 65, so I want to ask you, Bucky, if you will be head of A &R?"**

 **"Wow."**

 **"What do you say?"**

 **"I´m... Yes, of course. Thank you. Are you sure?"**

 **"Yes, I´m positive. Listen, nobody knows what i want for this label better than you do.** You know what I like, or don´t like. I don´t know what my life would look without you, you have done so much for me. You have guided me to where I´m today, so I trust your judgement. That you will make the right choices for this label as you have done for me all these years. You are worth your weight in gold."

"Thanks for the kind words, Ray. I will do my best to make the right choices."

"I know you will do great. I trust you, Bucky. And the second thing I wanted to celebrate is that Maddie is out of that damn contract. I can´t believe Teddy did that."

"Yeah, speaking of that. Valerie called and congratuladed. She and her colleagues are in awe of you and a little scared, that you managed something they said would take a very long time to achieve. And you did it in 24 hours too. Now they are afraid they are out of business when their clients solves their own legal matters."

"Well, I got some important information and just appealed to Mr Benton. Appealed to his sense of right and a mother´s wish to protect her daughter. Thank God, it worked. **Cheers to that."**

 **"Salud.** You are amazing, Ray."

* * *

Episode 15

 _Deacon and Maddie are talking about Rayna._

 **"So, I was thinking, maybe you could stay for dinner when you drop me off."**

 **"Well, that is very sweet, but, erm... Not tonight, I don´t think."**

 **"Come on.** It was ages ago you came around for dinner. We had such a good time then, when we played and sang, all of us. Didn´t you think it was fun?"

"It was a great evening, I had lots of fun. I want to do that again, but think I have to pass for now."

 **"Scarlett is not here, which mean you´re probably gonna be eating something out of a can."**

 **"I´ll have you know, I got some perfectly good made-from-scratch leftovers, miss, so I appreciate your concern, but..."**

 **"So, what´s going on with you and mom?"**

 **"Nothing."**

 **"Nothing?"**

 **"Nothing, all right? I haven´t even seen her in weeks."**

 **"Exactly. No, that´s what´s so weird. It´s like you guys are avoiding each other or something."**

 **"Maddie, it´s complicated, ok?"**

 **"It´s over with Luke. You don´t have a girlfriend. It´s so simple to me."**

 **"It´s not simple.** Just because Rayna broke up with Luke doesn´t mean she wants to get back together with me."

"But you proposed to her. Why would she not want that? Do you want to get back together with mom?"

"I do, sweetie. That´s what I always have wanted, to be with Rayna and you girls, to be a family. But right now I don´t think it´s such a good idea."

"Why? **Are you guys fighting?"**

 **"No, we´re not, ok? It´s ..."**

 **"What?"**

 **"After all that´s happened lately, I... We just need a little time, ok? That´s all."**

"How much time do you guys need? It´s been almost 2 months."

"I don´t know. It´s not something you can could put a time line on. If it´s meant to be again, it will happen when it happens, but still only if."

 **"But you still love her, don´t you?"**

 **"Till the day I die.** I have never loved any other woman the way I love your mama. Never have, never will. Rayna is the only woman for me."

 **...**

 _Rayna and Maddie are talking about Deacon._

 **"Hey."**

 **"Hey."**

 **"So, I just wanted you to know I called Deacon and asked him."**

 **"What did he say? Is he gonna come?"**

 **"He is thinking about it."**

 **"I do hope he will come."**

"I do too, sweetie. It will not be the same without Deacon there. He has been with me all this time, my honor is his too. **Tomorrow is gonna be a big day. Good night."**

 **"Mom?"**

 **"Yeah?"**

 **"You still love him, don´t you?"**

 **"I´ll always love Deacon, yeah."**

 **"No, I mean, like you LOVE him. Don´t you?"**

 **"Sweetheart... I know you want us to be together."**

 **"So bad."**

 **"I just, erm, I´m not sure what that looks like yet. And I think for the two of us to be together again, we both have to be ready, really ready."**

"But if you guys don´t talk or see each other, how will you get to work out what is preventing you guys getting back together? I invited him to dinner, but he turned it down."

"He did? That only proves we need more time."

 **"When do you think that will be?"**

 **"I don´t know.** If it´s meant to happen, it will happen someday."

"That´s what Deacon said."

"Then we are on the same page. That´s one step forward. **Love you."**

 **"Love you."**

 **...**

 _Deacon is thinking after Rayna took his hand and asked him to sing with her._

Deacon watched as Rayna walked out on stage. He could still feel the tingling of her touch, as he always has and therefore know without looking who´s hand he felt in his. His own hand automatically closed on hers when he felt the familiar touch. When he turned and looked at her, he was amazed about the love he saw. She didn´t say anything, but her eyes told him a lot and her big smile. He smiled back and raised their joined hands in the air and nodded a question at their hands.

Neither of them still hadn´t said a word until Rayna spoke. 'Come sing with me', and then she released his hand and walked out on stage. At the first touch of her hand, he had faded out Vince Gill´s speech about Rayna and for a moment forgot why he was here, why all of them were here. He looked at the girls, who was looking all happy and smiling for their mama.

What did this mean? Was she saying she didn´t need anymore time? That she wanted to be with him? That she was ready now? In that case, was he ready? He hadn´t any good news about his cancer yet, so was he ready to tell Rayna about being sick? Because he couldn´t get together with her without telling, that would only hurt her more. So much did he know. But he did love her and wants to be with her, but not like this, not with a death sentence between in their life. What should he do?

Deacon looked at the girls again and to Rayna where she stood on stage. At least he could honor her request to sing with her. He nodded to Danny at the side and he came towards deacon with his guitar. Deacon put it on and walked out on stage to sing with the woman he loved all his life.

* * *

Episode 16

 _Filling in the blanks at Rayna and Deacon´s day at the cabin._

" **I´m sorry, baby."**

 **"I´m sorry I hit you."**

 **"No, no, I´m sorry."**

 **"How long have you known?"**

 **"Right before Christmas."**

 **"I´m not letting you leave me."**

 **"All I ever wanted was to be strong for you, to be well. Now I´m not."**

Rayna sobs and press herself closer to Deacon, presses her head against his neck. Deacon felt her tears against his skin and felt like he was gonna shed a few of his own. He felt heartbroken for Rayna and at the same time relived he finally told her. Deep down, he know he never could keep it a secret, it had to come out at some point.

Deacon locked his arms around her waist and hold her as close as he could. After that brief hug they shared on the stage last night made him want more. He has missed this, having her in is arms and he was gonna savour all of it a little more, because he knew what was coming soon. They would fight as he knows perfectly well that Rayna wouldn´t like hearing what he was going to say. They stood hugging for a long time before Rayna lifted her head.

"How do you feel? What are the doctors saying? How did you find out?"

"Come, let´s sit down. I know you will have a million questions."

Deacon took her hand and lead her to the couch.

"The last weeks of Luke´s tour I didn´t seem to shake off what I thought was a cold, I felt slightly more tired than normal. Scarlett found me passed out in my hotel room and called 911. I woke up in a hospital. They took a bunch of tests and the result was I have cancer."

"Do you feel any pain?"

"No, I feel fine right now, just more tired in the evenings. I had some sort of seizure a few weeks ago, I lost the ability to speak for an hour or so. I got medicine now for that."

"Why didn´t you tell me sooner?"

"I was hoping I would have some good news to soften the blow. And if it feels better, Scarlett has been bugging me all the time to tell you. She has been going with me to my doctor, or rather dragged me there."

"Scarlett is a good niece."

 **"Scarlett has been amazing. I mean, she has got me on every alternative or holistic thing she can find on the internet."**

 **"Well, have you looked into that, experimental treatments or protocols..."**

 **"Yeah, we talked about it, yeah."**

 **"Steve Palmer over at Vanderbilt, he is so hooked in. He knows everybody."**

 **"Sweetie, I´ve been through it all."**

 **"All over the country."**

 **"I´ve done it all, all right? All that´s left is for me to just wait on this list."**

Rayna leans her head against Deacon´s shoulder. " **Well, I´m gonna wait with you. We´ll be doing it together now."**

 **"I´m sorry, baby. No."**

 **"What do you mean, no?"** Rayna sat up straight on the couch.

 **"I can´t do this with you by my side."**

 **"What do you mean you can´t do it with me by your side?"**

 **"I mean I´ve already put you through more than enough pain with all my mistakes."**

 **"That´s behind us."**

 **"And I will be damned if I´m gonna drag you through all the hurt and the disappointment..." Look at the pity in your eyes."**

 **"Look in my eyes. That´s not pity. It´s love. Don´t you get that?"**

 **"I´m sorry. This is how it has to be. I´ve made up my mind."**

 **"Well, you don´t get to just make up your mind..."**

 **"I do."** Deacon raised his voice and got up from the couch. **"I do, Rayna. I do. I know that comes as a surprise to you."**

 **"What´s that supposed to mean?"**

 **"You´ve made every other decision in our life together."**

 **"That´s not true!"**

 **"You chose to marry Teddy, all right? You didn´t tell me about Maddie. You chose Luke. This is my cancer. This is my sickness. I get to decide this, and I´m very sorry, but you´re just gonna have to accept my choice."**

.

Deacon stormed out and at first Rayna just gave him a quick gaze, then turned her eyes away. Then she looked at the door where he went out and didn´t close after him and then it hi her, he maybe was gonna leave, drive away. So she run to the door and looked at the cars. She exhaled when she didn´t see him near the cars and his truck was still there. She looked at the other side and saw the door to the shack was open. Soon she heard some strange noices, as the cabin is so secluded, so perfect private for them, that even the smallest sounds is hearable. After a while she recognizes the sound as wood being chopped.

Seems he didn´t have any immediate plans to leave, so she turned around and looked around the cabin. It looked like she remembers it, she wondered if he had changed anything. The curiosity of her took over and she went on a house searching tour. The pictures of them still hanged on the walls. The china in the kitchen was the same that they picked out together in that lovely little town they stumbled upon one day driving home from a weekend together up north. She even found some clothing of herd hanging in the closet, she doubts they would fit now, but still, he hadn´t even thrown them away.

Rayna walked back to the living room, still hearing Deacon is chopping away. She wasn´t sure what to do now. She hoped he worked out some of that anger so they could talk some more when he was done. He was so stubborn, how could he not see and understand that it was better to do this together than being on his own. He didn´t have to do this alone. Seeing all these things he kept, she knew she was right. Deacon wasn´t a changing man. Therefore, she believed he still loves her and wants to be with her, but somehow he thinks he doesn´t deserve to be happy, that he can´t be with her now that he is sick. She needs to convince him that they love each other, that they deserve to be happy and be together, and God forbid, if this is their last chance, she is gonna take it. Deacon is stubborn, but so is she.

They are so alike really, only two things that differ between them. The environment that they were raised up in, her in a rich upper class family and him in a poor working class and Rayna could handle her drinking. If people are thinking it was only Deacon that was drinking, they are so wrong. Because she had been so drunk at so many times, did do so many stupid things while being drunk. Both she and Deacon did know how to party, to be the last ones to leave an after-party except those times they left early to have sex. She has been hungover at the wrong times on many occasions, but when Bucky and Watty called her out on it and told her to shape up before she was gonna ruin her career, she listened. She got the message and cut down on the alcohol, chose the times she could drink a little too much carefully.

Unfortunate Deacon couldn´t do that as the disease alcoholism had him in an iron grip. But other than that Deacon and her are so alike, have the same family and life values, she mentioned the stubbornness, same view and taste about music and the same undying love for each other. A love that she now is ready to admit always been there, despite her chocies throughout the years. A love that she now has to fight for. Make Deacon see the ridiculous of not being together when they both want it.

Rayna moved to the kitchen for something to drink. She found a packet of coffee on the counter and started a pot. She poured herself a cup and moved to sit on the bar stools. She had just started sipping on her coffee when she saw Deacon through the windows, making his way inside with an armful of firewood.

.

 **"I´m still here."**

 **"Your choice."** Deacon put down the wood in the basket.

 **"Yeah, it´s my choice. I don´t understand why you choose to step away when things get tough. I´ve been watching you do it your whole life. Please don´t do that now."**

 **"I´m done talking about this, Rayna."**

 **"Why? Why are you shutting me out?"**

 **"Because I´m going to die, Rayna..."**

 **"You´re not gonna die."**

 **"And I don´t want you around to watch that."**

 **"You´re on a transplant list. We´re gonna get you through this."**

 **"I´ve screwed up my whole life, ok? This is me getting what I deserve."**

 **"No! That´s absurd!" Rayna yells.**

 **"Don´t you see? I don´t get any kind of happy even after, Rayna! This is how the song ends for me."**

 **"That doesn´t make any sense!"**

 **"All of this, none of this doesn´t matter. This doesn´t matter. Nothing matters."** Deacon gesture with his hands between them.

 **"Nothing matters?"**

 **"No!"**

 **"Nothing matters." Rayna picks up a guitar behind her. She raises it above her head.**

 **"Rayna. Rayna, stop it! You´re gonna..."**

 **"Nothing matters?** Rayna smashes the guitar against the floor two times before throwing it down.

 **"Rayna! What the hell did you do that for?"**

 **"What do you care? You said nothing matters, right?"**

 **"All right, that´s enough."** Deacon said as he saw her set course for another guitar nearby. **"That´s enough. Stop it."**

 **"Don´t touch me."** Rayna slaps away Deacon´s arm he put on her shoulders. **"You said nothing matters, right?"**

Deacon nods his head. **"That´s right."** Deacon picks up the guitar Rayna was going for. **"Have at it. Go on. Break them all."**

Rayna takes the guitar Deacon offers her. **"You´ve always said that you wanted to be the man that I know you are. And now you have the opportunity to do that with me by your side.** We can be together now, deacon. I love you and you love me. We are free to love each other, show our love."

 **"It´s not that simple, Rayna."**

 **"Of course it is. What are you so afraid of?"** I will not leave you again, never again. I´m done denying my feelings for you. **Do you not believe in us enough?"**

Deacon was avoiding looking at her and when he does, he has a defeated look in his eyes.

 **"Well, if you were trying to break my heart, you just did."** Deacon looks away again. **"Here, I know how much that means to you."** Rayna gave the guitar back to Deacon and walked out through the sliding doors.

.

Deacon watched as Rayna stormed out this time. He saw through the open doors that Rayna set course down to the water. Deacon sighted. That went bad, why didn´t he say anything? At least assure her that he loves her. That his decision not to be with her right now wasn´t because he didn´t love her anymore. That was never going to change. It hurt him to see how sad and hurt she got when he didn´t answer her last question. Deacon put down the guitar he still held in his hand.

He walked to the counter and saw Rayna´s cup of coffee she left on the counter. It was still warm and he finished it and then washed the cup and the dishes from yesterday. When that was done, he walked out on the porch, He looked around and for once the view didn´t calm him, because he didn´t see Rayna anywhere. She wasn´t down by the water anymore, but her car was still here. He wondered if he should go and find her or let her have some time to collect her thoughts.

He decided on the later and thought he could take the time to write a song while he was waiting for Rayna to return. One hour went by, second hour followed without Rayna had come back. His attempt at writing was a fiasco, he didn´t come up with more then a few words. He was getting a bit worried now, it will soon be twilight and he hoped Rayna remembered how dark it goes when the sun goes down, so she gets back in time.

Deacon was feeling a bit hungry and went to the kitchen to see if he could make something to eat for them, have dinner ready when Rayna walks through the door. Deacon found a can of soup and he had bread and cheese that he could make hot sandwiches with. When the soup was done and set aside to be reheated and the sandwiches ready to go into the oven, there was still no sign of Rayna. Now he was really worried and went outside and scanned the area for any sight of her. To his relief he saw her far away, but walking towards the cabin.

He thought maybe she was cold now after being out for almost 3 hours, so he started a fire. When the fire was lit and burning strong, Deacon took one glance outside to reassure that Rayna was still coming back. He went to the kitchen and turned on the oven and stove to finish dinner. Rayna opened the sliding doors and stepped in.

.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"I made dinner, it will be done soon."

"Ok, I will be back shortly." Rayna walked past him to the bedroom and bathroom area. When she emerged, Deacon had set the table and they ate under silence. Deacon spoke up when they cleared the table.

"Look Rayna, I´m sorry, okay? I do believe in us. I want to be with you and the girls. That´s all I ever wanted. But I don´t want you to see me getting sick and weak. I feel fine now, but as the cancer is growing I´m not gonna feel like this anymore. You have taken care of me too much already, I want to be the one to take care of you."

"Deacon, that was in the past. Now is now. This is different. I want you in my life. I need to be close to you. If this is our last chance to be together we should take it. I want you to be strong and fight this cancer and I will be strong with you. I will do whatever I can to help you beat it. I will do that, no matter what you say, but I really think we would be stronger together."

"Ray. I promise you that I will fight with everything I got. But I don´t want you or the girls get your hopes up too much, as it´s a big chance I will not make it. If the cancer was found a bit earlier, my chances would be better. I do want you Ray, but for now it´s better like this."

Rayna stroke a tear away and for the second time this day she stormed out, but this time not so far. Rayna sat down on the porch.

.

Stubborn woman. How can she don´t understand he don´t want her to see him getting sicker and sicker and eventually die right in front of her. To turn her down when all he wants is to be with her hurts so much. Hearing her say all these things he has been waiting for, wished for, wanted to hear for so long and now when he does, he can´t act on it. It´s so not fair.

He thinks about how Rayna will feel if he dies, she will be so sad and hurt and that breaks his heart. If she is living with him, watching him die, the pain and sorrow will be double. To be together, to feel passion and happiness again and then it will be taken away, that will hurt even more.

Deacon takes up the photo of them four singing at Fort Campbell, the one Maddie gave both of them. They all look so happy there. And he doesn´t want to put any of them through more pain than necessary. He puts the photo down and walks outside.

.

" **What about Maddie?" He sits down beside Rayna. "I know you can survive anything, even me. But Maddie... I can´t give her the fairy-tale ending she has always dreamed of just to take it away from her."**

 **"You don´t know that´s what´s gonna happen."**

 **"You don´t know it´s not. I can´t risk it. I got to protect her. I got to protect her heart."**

 **"You know we´re all a hell of a lot stronger than you give us credit for, including yourself."**

 **"It´s funny, you always think everybody is as strong as you are."** Deacon stands up and takes a few steps away from her, sighs deeply and turns around. **"I´m resolute about this. Maddie won´t be able to miss a life that she has never known. I love you, Rayna. And God willing, I will be able to get through all this, and we´ll be together. But if I don´t, it´s better this way."** Deacon walks inside and leave Rayna to think over what he said.

After a while Rayna walks inside. **"You´re wrong. You know that? About Maddie, about pretty much all of it."**

 **"All right, listen Rayna..."**

 **"No, you listen, please. You might die. But if you do, I would rather have us be together the way we were always meant to be for as long as possible. And if something horrible happens, well then I´d rather my girls have the opportunity to see what true love looks like. I don´t ever want to protect them from that, even if it ends. You are not gonna be able to protect us from the pain of this. You´re just not. So, let´s at least experience the joy of whatever life has to offer for us right now."**

Rayna hunched down and put her hands on Deacon´s hands. **"Please stop fighting me. Fight for us. We screwed this thing up a million times, but we´re not gonna do that now. Now we´re gonna seize the opportunity to be together and to be happy and whatever that..."** She didn´t get to finish before Deacon´s lips was covering hers. He put his hands on her face and deepened the kiss and she kissed him back fiercely.

They stood up and started to undress each other. By the time they reach the couch most clothes was discarded, only their underwear left. They were removed pretty quickly too and a smiling Rayna pulled an equal smiling Deacon down upon her as she sank down on the couch. They were finally making love again.

.

Rayna watched as Deacon rose from the couch to go and tend to the fire, put more logs on it. She felt the loss of the warmth from Deacon´s body immediately. The room was a bit chilly as the fire almost had burned out. She smiled as she watched him tend to the fire, she enjoyed the view. A naked Deacon was a lovely sight that she could look at all day. His strong back, a firm bottom and great proportion legs. For a man at his age, he was in pretty good shape, especially considering he didn´t spend any time in a gym. Deacon would rather die then set foot in one.

Seeing him like this reminded Rayna about their early years, when he bought this cabin for her, for them to live in. They have spent a great deal on this floor, making love by the fire, which she thinks is on his agenda. She could almost count on her fingers the amount of times they have used the bed, at least as a first stop. Of course they have made love in the bed too, but that was when they stayed for longer times. Often when they came up for a weekend or just a night, they never seemed to have time to go to the bedroom, or wait for the 5 to 10 minutes it takes for Deacon to start a fire. They start off on the couch and then Deacon would get up and get a fire going, usually don´t bother to put anything on him and they make love for a second time by the fire. Third and fourth time usually follows and sometimes they stayed there all night on the floor.

Rayna hoped if they stay at the cabin for the night, someone of them is wise enough to move them to the bed. Because if they stay on the floor now, it would be a hell of a day tomorrow. Her back will pay the price and she could be happy if she would be able to move at all. She saw the flames started licking the woodpile again. Deacon turned around and the fire that was in full blaze now lit up his body. God, he is a gorgeous man, he got it all, a great body, a handsome face and beautiful eyes. Those eyes that could stop a woman breathing just by looking into them, she knows, she has felt that many times. Deacon could express so many feelings with just his eyes and now they were telling her to join him. She took the sheets and blankets and joined him.

"You do know we have a bed, right? Or did you sell it?"

Deacon chuckles. "No, but I know how much you like making love by the fire and I just love how you look in the light of the fire."

"You mean now that I´m old I need the dark to hide my wrinkles?"

"No, never. You are the most beautiful woman in the world, that will never change nor does my feelings for you. I love you, Ray."

"I love you, Deacon. So much." Rayna dropped the sheets and put her arms around his neck and pulled him close and their lips met. The kisses grew more intense and hands started caressing and they sank down to the floor for a second round of lovemaking.

.

 **"You know, it´s actually pretty fitting, what´s happening here. I bought this place so that we could spend the rest of our lives together."**

 **"And now we will. Maddie is gonna be so over the moon when she hears about this."**

Deacon chuckles. **"Oh, yeah. She is. She has been waiting a long time for this."**

 **"Yeah."**

 **"Telling her about me, though, that... That´s not gonna be so easy."**

 **"We´ll get through it. Just like we will with all the other challenges ahead of us. We´ll do it together."**

 **"I got to tell you, having you in my arms right here, it makes everything seem a whole lot less daunting."**

 **"God, I love it when I´m right."** Both laugh.

 **"Shut up."** Deacon said before kissing her again.


	4. Chapter 4

Episode 17

 _Deacon´s day with the girls._

Deacon stood at the kitchen island where Rayna just left him to go and help Sadie. Deacon looked at the girls sleeping on the couch. It was an eventful evening yesterday, not only for them it seems. For him these past 48 hours have been like a roller coaster. Started up and high with Rayna asked him to sing with her at her 10 year anniversary at the Opry, to dive when he told her about his cancer and they argue all day at the cabin. Then go up again when he couldn´t resist Rayna anymore and denying them what they both wanted and they finally made love again. And then to dive down again by telling the girls about him being sick.

Maddie had been so happy, as they predicted she would be. It had been a rough night for all of them. The girls were crying and didn´t let them out of their sight. It took forever for them to fall asleep, to where Rayna and Deacon could have some time alone. They draw back to the music room and talked some more before they got a few hours sleep on the couch in there close together. Deacon is pondering on if he should wake the girls or let them sleep.

He did let them sleep and after they woke up, they went out for breakfast. That didn´t go too well, Maddie was angry and hurt, and didn´t want to talk to him, snapped at Daphne. His offer to sing and play guitar at his house did nothing to her mood. Once they were at his place, Maddie locked herself into Scarlett´s room. That left Deacon and Daphne to sing by themselves. Daphne chose one of Rayna´s old songs. When they were done, Daphne got a serious expression on her face.

"Deacon?"

"Yes?"

"At breakfast you said we could ask questions and talk about your cancer, is that true?"

"Of course, sweetie. You can ask me anything, I may not have the medicine answers, but don´t be afraid to ask."

"Does it hurt?"

"No, not at the moment. I´m just a bit more tired than before."

"Will you lose your hair?"

"I think only people going through radiation and chemo treatments lose their hair, and I´m not available for those treatments."

"Why not?"

"In my case it´s too late, if my cancer been found earlier perhaps. Now my only chance is to find a donor. And as we said last night, if I don´t get one in time, I will die."

"I don´t want you to die."

"Me neither, sweetie. I have so much to live for now."

"Are you afraid?"

"Yes."

"You have us, we will support you." Daphne moved and gave him a hug.

"Thanks sweetie. That actually helps more than you think, knowing I have people that love me and support me."

.

Maddie hadn´t changed mood. She refused to answer him or opened the door when he knocked at it. Daphne informed him that Teddy just pulled up outside. Maddie must have called him. Deacon went outside to talk to Teddy, told him that he was sick. Told him that Maddie shouldn´t run away from talking to him about it. Teddy managed to talk Maddie into staying with Deacon, but she didn´t leave the room. So after he talked to Daphne, Teddy left again.

Deacon wanted to give Teddy and Daphne some privacy, so he kept himself in the kitchen started making dinner. Daphne joined him in the kitchen and helped him. They were all done with the chopping and slicing when Maddie emerged. The taste test got a 'Pretty good' from Daphne, he was happy with that..

Deacon and Maddie talked, cleared the air a bit, so dinner conversation was a happy event. They talked about when Rayna first was inducted into the Opry Hall of Fame. How nervous she was, how many dresses she tried on. Deacon remembers clearly how beautiful she looked in that black dress she finally decided on. After dinner they washed up after them and then went back to Rayna´s house.

When Rayna came home, she found Deacon slumber on the couch. She smiles and sit down beside him, he stirs when he feels the couch moves.

 **"Hey."**

 **"Hey."**

 **"You´re here."**

 **"Yeah. I´m here. I think I gotta go home though. I´ve been wearing these clothes a little too long."** Both chuckle.

"Okay, but stay five more minutes. I need the soothing and comfort of your arms. It´s been a hell of a day. Calming a frightened Sadie down. Then when I finally got to Juliette. She was furious and while she was raging about the baby shower her water broke, so we had to rush to the hospital."

"What? Is she okay?"

"Yes. I stayed with her until Avery came. They got a baby girl. How did it go at your end?"

"We had a few things to sort out, me and Maddie talked a little, answered a couple of questions from Daphne. Teddy came over, apparently Maddie had called him, but we managed to work it out. I´m pretty tired myself and need some soothing too." Rayna closed her eyes as she lay there with her head on his shoulder and caressing his hand. They lay there for a while, just enjoying being close to each other.

Deacon kissed Rayna´s temple. **"Also, I think the girls are ok, but... I know they could use some mama time."**

 **"Thank you for today."**

Deacon pushes a string of hair away from Rayna´s face and kiss her. **"You got it."**

* * *

Episode 18

 _Deacon´s phone call to Rayna and Maddie´s apology._

"Hey."

"Hey Mom."

"Maddie? I thought it was Deacon."

"He is here. His phone was nearest. I need to apologize to you. I did say some things I didn´t mean. **I just wanna tell you I´m really sorry. I don´t think it was cool that you found out about Colt the way you did. I totally should have told you before instead of lying to you about it."**

 **"I really appreciate hearing that."**

 **"Well, since I can´t come to the concert tonight, do you think that you could get me a Jade St John T-shirt?"**

 **"Yeah, I can pull that off. Will you put Deacon on for a second, please?"**

 **"Yeah, here he is."**

 **"Hey."**

 **"Hey, thank you for going over there and talking to her."**

 **"You got it. I tell you what, she is really sorry. And I´m sorry too. I shouldn´t have run out like that. I don´t wanna run from this, or from you or from... Hell, anybody.** You are right. You are my family, you and the girls. I want us to be together as a family. I have wanted this for so long. I don´t want to screw it up."

 **"You know, nothing in the world makes me happier than hearing you say that. And this illness is your truth. And you can tell it whenever you damn well please."**

 **"You know, they got a saying in the program, 'You´re only as sick as your secrets.' Right now, I´m pretty sick of being sick."**

 **"Well, I´m sick of missing you. So will you do me a favour and bring our daughter to the Bridgestone?"**

 **"I can do that."**

 **...**

 _Rayna and Deacon´s evening after they got home from Jade St John´s concert._

"Rayna? Are you in here?" Deacon called out as he entered the bedroom.

Rayna exits the bathroom, dressed for bed in a long T-shirt. "Yeah. How did your talk with Luke go? I don´t see any bruise knuckles or black eyes, so I guess good?"

Deacon chuckles. "Yes, it went good. No punches. I just wanted to tell him about me being sick. Despite this last year difference between us, he was a friend before all of this."

"I´m glad it went well, because now when Maddie and Colt are boyfriend and girlfriend, we are bound to see more of him."

"Yeah, guess you are right."

Deacon started to undress. When he had removed his shirt, he felt her hands on his back. "Are you still tired?"

Deacon turned around smiling. "I´m never going to be too tired for you."

Rayna smiled too, and put her arms around his neck. He leaned in and caught her lips with his. A kiss that left them both breathless. She gave him a little push so he fell down on the bed and straddled him.

"I think we are a little bit overdressed for this."

"That can be easily fixed."

"You read my mind."

"I´m good at reading you. I know that look. I have seen it before."

"Then you know what will happen?"

"I do. I love you, Ray."

"Me too, Deacon. So much."

* * *

Episode 19

 _Rayna and Deacon are on the phone._

"Good morning."

"Morning."

"I feel a little guilty, abandon you on your first day with us, since you moved in yesterday a bit surprising. A very pleasant surprise, don´t get me wrong. I love that you decided to move in with us. I just wanted to give you the grand tour."

"We can do that when you are back, no rush. We have christened our bedroom and the music room, the most important places."

"Yes, we sure did. It was amazing and very enjoyable. A moment to remember and I want to repeat it, very much and often frankly. What made you decide to move in? We didn´t discuss it more after the morning when the girls said it was okay, when they gave you their approval."

"I listen to what you said, what Scarlett said, what I want and that is to be with you. It´s always been you Ray. I don´t want to waste more time, when I can spend it with you and the girls, rather than an empty house. Time is too precious to waste now with our situation."

"I totally agree with you, I´m so looking forward to have you in my bed every day, to fall asleep in your arms and wake up in the same arms. I have missed that so much."

"Me too. It´s been a long time since we lived together. That´s one other thing that made me hesitate, I´m so scared that I somehow will screw it up. Disappoint you again."

"That´s in the past. You are a different man today, a better man. We will be fine, Deacon."

"I hope you are right, Ray."

"I´m always right, remember?"

"Shut up." Deacon chuckles.

"You know it´s the truth. Admit it."

"Never."

"I see Bucky coming, our meeting is about to start I assume. I will see you later when I get home."

"I will be here."

"Bye."

"Bye."

 **...**

 _Rayna and Deacon are talking at the hospital after Maddie and Scarlett left the room._

"It´s nothing, Rayna. I feel fine."

"I know you are, but what if they don´t get this fever of yours down in time. It´s a big if, you could lose your chance on this liver."

"I will get this surgery, I know I will. Everything will be fine. We are gonna think positively remember, Ray?"

"Yes, I know. I´m so happy they have found a donor. I have prayed so much that they would. I can´t be losing you now."

"You won´t, I promise you."

 **...**

 _Rayna´s short prayer when they rolled Deacon into surgery_.

Please God, save that man. I love him so much, I always have. But my choices haven´t always shown that and now that I got him back, you can´t take him away from me. I want him. I need him in my life. I want to grow old with him, have the life we always dreamt off, talked about. The life we are meant to have. I don´t know what I will do without him. Please, let him live. Please, save him.

* * *

Episode 20

 _Deacon makes good on his promise when Rayna gets home, even when it´s very late._

When Rayna stepped inside her house it was a little after two in the morning or night depend on how you count. She put her purse and keys on the kitchen island and went to sink down on the couch. She took a pillow, hugged it to her chest and pulled her legs up and the tears started to fall again.

She failed. She failed to convince Beverly to help save her brother, her only brother´s life. How could she not want to do it? Sure, it meant a few weeks recovery and an operation, but these days the chance of such an operation to be risky is very little. She herself would do it in a heartbeat, if she was a match and could save Deacon´s life. She would do anything.

She dried her tears and made it up the stairs. Rayna opened and closed the bedroom door after her as softly as she could, so she wouldn´t wake Deacon. She looked at his sleeping form in bed. She is trying to be positive, but honestly she is terrified Deacon will die. As she said to Beverly, it was a miracle they found one donor. For every day that passes, decreases Deacon´s chance to live. She removes her shoes and sneak her way to the bathroom.

Rayna emerged from the bathroom just in her bra and panties. She sat down on the bed. She heard Deacon stirred behind her.

"Ray?"

"Yes, it´s me. Go back to sleep."

"Did you just got home? What´s the time?"

"It´s late. I was hoping I wouldn´t wake you. You need your sleep." Rayna removes her bra and stretches her hand for an old T-shirt. She rolls her shoulders to get some of the tension away. She feels him shifts behind her and then his hands on her shoulders.

"Let me get some of that tense to go away."

"I´m fine, Deacon. I´m tired and need to sleep and so do you."

"I know you are tired and I also can see that you are not fine. Your shoulders are very hard. Let me give you a massage, you will sleep more relaxed then."

"Fine, if you insist. I just don´t think you should lose any sleep at the moment. You know it´s important that you sleep well to stay as healthy as you can. Doctor´s order."

"Yes, I know. But loosing sleep with you is one of my favorite things to do."

Rayna closes her eyes and enjoys both the massage and Deacon´s touch. After a while when she feels him kiss her neck and his hands caress their way to her front to cup her breasts. That made her smile after this long and totally worthless day. She remembered what he said earlier on the phone 'you hurry back and I´m gonna do what I can to salvage your day'. And what he said even earlier, 'that he was sick of being sick' and 'that he would like to be the one to take care of her'.

Well, a girl could have it a lot worse than the man you love wants to make you feel better and wants to make love to you. After all, sometimes it´s worth breaking the rules, even doctors. And the fact that one touch from Deacon really is all it takes to turn her on. Rayna turns around and put her arms around his neck.

"Hey. What are you doing?"

"Just trying to make you feel better."

"Oh yeah? It´s working. Thank you, I´m feeling much better."

"Then my work is done." Deacon said smiling.

"Oh no, you have to finish what you started Mister."

"Yeah?"

"Oh yes, or you will be in the hospital for other things than your cancer."

"We can´t have that, can we?"

"No, I rather keep you here with me."

Deacon smiles and pulls her close to him and at the same time leans back on the bed. He gentle rolls them so he is on top. He teases her with feather light kisses, all over, but not her mouth. They abruptly stop when Rayna have enough and take his head with both her hands and pulls him to her, so she can kiss him properly. The kiss deepens and Deacon stop teasing and give them what they both need and want.

* * *

Episode 21

 _Deacon´s speech before they sing at the Bluebird Cafe._

 **"Well, I can´t tell you, uh, what it feels like to see so many, uh, familiar and caring faces out there. You´re about the best extended family a guy could have at a time like this.** The Bluebird is one of my favourite places to play at, it´s like my home ground. I feel so welcome here, I have been since my very first time. Rayna and I met here, so to us, it´s a very special place."

"Yes, Deacon and I have so many memories here. Both personal and music wise. The music history here at the Bluebird is amazing. So many country artists have started their career here, including us." Rayna chipped in.

 **"Music, I think it´s safe to say has been there, for all of us, um, through hard times.** Without music in my life I would be lost, I don´t even want to think what that would be like. Through music you can say so much, express so many feelings. **This is a song that, uh... Well, we wrote this one a long time ago, huh?"**

 **"Mmm-hmm. We thought it would be a good one for tonight."**

* * *

Episode 22

 _Rayna and Beverly are arguing in the guest room._

 **"You all right? You got everything you need?"**

 **"I took all my meds. Don´t need to be checked up on, though."**

 **"Well, that´s not what I was doing, but okay.** Look, Beverly, we have never been friends, never getting along with each other. Can we be civil towards each other? For everyone´s sake?"

"We can try, I guess."

 **"I wanted to say thank you, to let you know how grateful I am for the enormous sacrifice that you´re making tomorrow. And if I haven´t said it enough, thank you. It means the world to me.** I think you know how much Deacon means to me."

"Yeah, sure. That´s why you dumped him and married Teddy Conrad."

"Well, I made a mistake. I´m not perfect, far from it, but I never stoped loving Deacon."

"You stole him from me, we were the ones that should be out touring."

"You can´t possibly be angry for that still, are you? It was over 25 years ago."

"It should have been us."

"Well, I´m so sorry then, but you could have joined him, you know. I invited you too. If you had only joined the tour, maybe something had opened up. I would guess it would be a bigger chance for anything to happen than staying in Natchet. I am really grateful and I would really like to compensate you for more than those week off from your work."

 **"Well, I´m not doing it for you. But I guess I´m doing it because of you."**

 **"Okay."**

 **"You put me in a terrible position when you showed up with that cheque, because, you see, I´d either be the bitch who needed a million dollars to save her brother or I´d be the bitch who a million dollars wasn´t enough for. Either way, you come out the hero trying to save him. But here is the thing... None of this matters without me, right? So it turns out I´m the hero."**

 **"You are saving the life of the man I love, and for that I will pin a medal on you myself. Get you some sleep."**

Beverly chuckles. **"Will do."**

.

Rayna left the guest room and went around the corner before she stopped and leaned against the wall. Impossible woman. It´s hard to believe that Scarlett and Deacon is from the same family. But she is saving Deacon´s life and that´s all that matters. Rayna can´t save him herself and she said she would do anything in her power and right now that means being nice to Beverly. She can do that, if that means Deacon will live. She could smile and play nice with Beverly, be her beck and call for a while. A life without Deacon would not be a whole life.


End file.
